


I Know My Value, Anyone Else's Opinion Doesn't Really Matter.

by ChelseaStark_x



Series: Tumblr Prompts [19]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: All innocent of course, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Happy Ending, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Near Death Experiences, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Uncle Jared, Uncle-Niece Relationship, good dad Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-11-01 01:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelseaStark_x/pseuds/ChelseaStark_x
Summary: Warnings - Self harm, suicide attempt, self hate, depressionRequested - anon ~ I know there is a load of prompts in here but I was wondering if you could do Jensen & daughter reader w/ Jared and niece reader. Basically the fandom is sending Jensen’s daughter a lot of hate about whatever you want and she ends up self harming and one day she just decides she’s done and cuts herself too deeply, but then Jared calls her and she talks to him whilst she’s dying or smth. Then in the hospital Danneel’s with her until Jared and Jensen come from vancouver. Happy ending.Reader saying ‘Ghost White’ and ‘Gayfeather’ to Jared whilst she’s bleeding out or smth. Then reader saying can we stay like this for a little while?”’ to Jensen “you’re not a burden” to the reader. Can I request Danneel & reader as well. IDK if I can request my own prompts so if not then they don’t really matter but I’d appreciate it.Jensen’s daughter, Y/N Ackles, is recieving a lot of hate messages on social media that over time cause her to become depressed. What happens when she’s pushed over the edge?





	I Know My Value, Anyone Else's Opinion Doesn't Really Matter.

It was an odd feeling to feel like you were a stranger in your own home, to feel like you didn’t really fit in. It was nobody’s fault, nobody in the house treated you any differently to how they treated each other but you couldn’t help but feel like a burden. 

Your dad was around as much as he could be with his job, you knew how much he loved being an actor, going to the conventions and whatnot. Danneel treated you just how she treated her own biological children, sure she spent more time with them but that was only natural considering they were so much younger than you. The kids obviously didn’t see you as anything other than big sister Y/N.

It wasn’t any of them that made you feel like you weren’t properly apart of the family, no it was the constant stream of hate messages you received on the daily. People telling you that your dad, Jensen, didn’t love you and that you were a burden on his perfect family with Danneel and the kids. It was the messages that told you that you were worth nothing and that your family wouldn’t miss you if you were gone. 

It was just strangers online but it affected you in such a serious way. You were able to block it out to begin with but over recent years it had really affected your confidence and the way viewed yourself. You started thinking that maybe all those people were right, maybe you weren’t good enough, maybe your dad would be better without you. 

Over time you had started to become more withdrawn, hiding away in your bedroom and distancing yourself from your friends and family. Slowly at first but eventually Danneel began to worry and she called Jensen one night.

“Have you spoken to Y/N recently?” She had asked him once the younger kids had gone to bed and she had the privacy to talk seriously.

“Um, yeah I spoke to her this morning for a bit. She didn’t seem too chatty though.” Jensen’s response only made Danneel worry more for you and she decided, after discussing it with Jensen, that it’d be best to try and talk to you and involve you in things. 

-

-

-

Most nights were spent in your room, Twitter open on your phone with a new stream of mentions telling you how you weren’t good enough. You knew looking at the messages would only hurt you more but for some reason you couldn’t not look.

Some time not too long ago you had taken to hurting yourself. It made you feel a bit better, like you were finally getting what you deserved for being such a burden on your dad and his family. At first you’d cried as you cut yourself but eventually it was like a comfort, you craved it and with every new hate message the cuts got deeper and the what if’s left your mind. 

You grabbed one of the blades you had hidden away and pulled your pants down, it was too risky to do it on your arms. You let the blade sit in your hands, moving it from palm to palm as you took in some of the messages, these people hadn’t met you and they knew you didn’t deserve to live. Why would you? You were a burden to Jensen and Danneel. Strangers knew it, you knew it, Jensen and Danneel probably thought it.

With that you guided the blade over to your thigh, pressed deeply and cut at the flesh. It hurt, of course it hurt, but it eased the mental pain just a little so it was worth it. It was less than you deserved but it’d have to do.

-

-

-

It had been a few months and little had changed other than the fact that your mood had significantly lowered, your thighs were littered with new and old cuts, the hate messages continued and you hated yourself. You had no idea what you’d done to deserve this but your mentality to all the hate was bad, you had accepted it and believed what everyone was saying. 

One afternoon when things were really bad and Danneel had taken the kids to Genevieve’s, you sat in your room with bleeding thighs and tears streaming down your face. You didn’t want to do this anymore. You were ruining your dad’s life, Danneel and the kids hated you and nobody else on the planet seemed to cared if you lived or died and honestly neither did you.

Without much thought you brought the blade away from your thigh and sunk it into the unharmed flesh of both your wrists, slicing deeply at the skin with a wince of pain.

Of course it was that moment your phone rung and Uncle Jared’s name was flashing up on FaceTime.  _ One last phone call _ you thought to yourself with a humorless laugh.

“Hey Y/N.” Jared’s voice was filled with concern. He had seen the messages that had been wrote about you in the past few days and after a little digging he’d come across far too many hate messages aimed at you. 

“Uncle Jared.” Your voice was breathy, like it was taking all your energy to talk. You weren’t holding the phone either, Jared was currently looking at your ceiling. You didn’t think you had the energy to hold the phone and with the mix of tears and blood it was probably for the better.

“Y/N/N, sweet heart, is everything alright?” The concern in Jared’s voice doubled, something in his stomach turned as a bad feeling washed over him. His eyes scanned the set looking for Jensen but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you?” You asked him, eyes clenched shut as you focused on him and not the immense pain you were feeling. Your voice sounded distant even to you but you weren’t worried.

“Y/N, what are you talking about? Of course the world wouldn’t be better off! Misha, get Jensen now! Hey, Y/N, stay on the phone with me, yeah, keep talking to me.” He stayed on the call but clicked off the FaceTime so he was able to text Gen and tell her to get Danneel in the house. Something bad was happening and he was worried sick.

“M’sorry, I…I can barely keep my eyes open.” You told him sadly.

It wasn’t long until you felt yourself feeling weak, tired, sick and lightheaded. You let out a small whine as your head spun, making you feel dizzy. Your vision blurred dramatically and you were glad you were sat down. All it took was a few slow blinks before your world turned dark and the last thing you heard was Uncle Jared calling you name worriedly.

-

-

-

Pain. 

All you could feel was pain.

You were awake but didn’t open your eyes. Confusion was another strong feeling and it took a few moments before the events that had occurred caught up with you. You remember talking to your Uncle Jared, telling him that you wanted to die or something along those lines, remembered him talking to Misha and calling for your dad whilst trying to make you stay on the phone. Remembered cutting into your wrists without a care in the world, without caring if you would survive.

Clearly you had survived though. Even without opening your eyes you knew you were in a hospital, the smell that every hospital seemed to have and the consistent beeping of a monitor were a dead give away. 

You felt someone holding your hand and could hear soft sniffles coming from the person. You knew you had to open your eyes, had to face the reality and the consequences of what you had done but now, when you knew you had to speak about it, the reason behind it seemed silly. To you it was a big deal but you figured your dad and Danneel would brush over it by just telling you they cared.

Reluctantly you forced your eyes open and saw Danneel sat in an uncomfortable looking chair next to your bed, dried tears remained on her cheeks, as she clutched your hand tightly in hers.

“Danneel?” You asked, throat dry and croaky before you let out a fit of coughs. In seconds she was up and pouring you a glass of water, helping you guide it to your mouth and held it steady as you gulped it down greedily.

“How are you feeling?” She asked once you were finished and she’d sat back in the seat.

You honestly didn’t think you were capable of answering that question right now so you opted to just shrug your shoulders and avoid eye contact.

“Yeah, that was a stupid question, huh?” She asked rhetorically before continuing, “so your dad and uncle are on their way home. Jensen texted me right before they got on the plane so they should be landing within the next half hour.” 

You nodded at her though you couldn’t help but feel guilty that both Jared and Jensen were flying home because of you, cutting into their busy filming schedule. 

“The kids?” You managed to ask, wincing at the pain in your throat.

“They’re fine, they don’t know what happened yet. Gen offered to watch them as soon as we got Jared’s text.” She informed you and you couldn’t help but raise your eyebrow questioningly at the last part.

“Uncle Jared called you and once he started speaking to you, well, he said he had a bad feeling and asked Gen to get me to go home and check on you. Thank God I did, any later and-” Here she cut herself off as her eyes filled with tears, you looked down and began to play with your bed sheets as the guilty feeling grew within you.

“Oh sorry, this probably isn’t helping you. Anyway the kids are fine.” She finished, drying her eyes quickly.

-

-

-

It was another hour or so before Jensen walked into the hospital room, immediately making his way over to you. As he embraced you tightly you saw Danneel leaving the room and caught a glimpse of your uncle Jared. 

“Baby girl, what’s going on in that head of yours, hey?” Your dad asked softly and that was all it took before you broke down in his arms. Tears fell down your face as you finally let out everything you were feeling. Jensen held you tightly, letting go only to climb into bed with you before clutching you tightly to his chest and letting you cry.

“That’s it baby, let it out. Good girl, that’s it. So good.” He continued to whisper random words of encouragement to you, soothing you marginally.

It took a while but eventually the tears began to fade and you had calmed yourself down enough to talk.

“I’m sorry.” You choked out causing him to tense up.

“Don’t say that baby girl, don’t you ever apologise. I’m sorry. I should’ve been there. I knew something wasn’t right and I didn’t do anything. God, I nearly lost you.” You looked up at him and saw his own eyes were filled with tears, some having spilled when you yourself were crying. 

“S’not your fault daddy. I hid it, didn’t want help. Thought it was better this way. With me gone I wouldn’t be a burden to you or Dani.”

“What? You thin- Y/N Ackles, you’re not a burden. You’re my whole world, you, Danneel, Zepp, Arrow, JJ. My whole world. I’d be lost if I lost any one of you!” The passion and sincerity in his voice made you pause. “Don’t listen to people online, I know it’s easier said than done, trust me I know baby, but they don’t know us. We love you, Y/N/N, so damn much!”

Your eyes filled with tears again but they weren’t completely sad. You had this overwhelming sadness clouding over you, your head was telling you Jensen was lying but a part of you knew that was just because of the mentality you had adopted over the past few years. Nothing was going to get better instantly but something needed to change.

A few tears fell down your face as you cuddled further into Jensen’s chest, arm slung over his stomach and asked “can we stay like this for a little while?” 

He kissed your head, telling you of course you could. 

That night you fell asleep feeling some sort of hope for the future.

-

-

-

Three years.

That’s how long it had taken you to get better.

It was a long, hard, challenging, emotionally draining road but you had come out of it so much better. You’d deleted social media, realising that it was so toxic and you didn’t need that in your life. You’d given up going out of your way to search things about yourself and it had helped so much.

Jensen was home more now that seasons were shorter so he could spend more time with the family, a family you were very much a part of. 

Right now you were sat in Jensen’s bed, smushed between him and JJ, whilst Danneel had her arms full with the twins. A Disney movie was playing on the TV, JJ and you singing along loudly and over dramatically causing you all to laugh. You turned your head in time to see Jensen looking at you with soft eyes and a fond smile.

“What?” You asked quietly causing his smile to grow.

“Nothing, it’s nice to see you this happy again, that’s all.” You couldn’t help the proud grin that made its way onto your face at his words. 

It had taken so much time, a few different therapists and a whole lot of breakdowns but you were finally genuinely happy and confident with yourself and your emotions. You knew that your family cared about you and you wouldn’t let people’s opinions drag you down any longer. 

“Nice to be this happy again.” You told him honestly and laughed as he dragged you closer to him and pressed a kiss on your head.

“I love you so damn much, baby girl.” Jensen told you softly.

“I love you too daddy.”


End file.
